The Good Heart Project: Heart Hangover

12 Mar

“I’m sorry to say so, but sadly it’s true. The Bang-Ups and Hang-Ups can happen to you” – Dr Seuss

I am on day 8 of my Good Heart Project and yes, I am a little more outgoing, see a little more violencelight, feel a little more love but I am straining my neck, peeking through the clouds. Yesterday was a very heavy spirited day, as the content we tackled in class was tough, and I worked on a presentation on the same issues in the morning. Violence against Indigenous women, sexual abuse, and prostitution. Try to let the sunbeams shine down on that one.

Those of you who have read some of my previous stuff, know that I have experienced a tremendous amount of sexual violence/abuse, etc. Needless to say, the content and day triggered me and my emotions were rubbed raw and left me exposed and vulnerable. No one want’s to be the class crier. I flitted my eyes quickly to fan away the tears in the few moments the dams threatened to burst. This topic, that was presented as a research presentation by my non-indigenous class mates, was just that… a presentation. The presentation was my hard lived reality.

I don’t want to be stuck in the past, the majority of why I write what I do is in hopes that my words may reach someone who has went through something similar and  HELP them HEAL. I was reminded but some other strong Indigenous women to be grateful for how much I have healed and that I came through it. The process of writing about such sensitive issues is also healing for myself and I am grateful to be bestowed such an outlet. I give thanks.

Here is a video/poetry project I did last year to address violence against Indigenous women:

To top off yesterday, I had a relationship end. I woke up this morning with a literal pain in my chest and a heaviness in my heart and skipped class :o. Yes, I played a little hookey to nurse my heart hangover. I’m not going to write on this break-up, out of respect for the other individual who is a great guy with a good heart.

I quoted Dr. Seuss because the book “Oh the Places You’ll Go” is my favourite book to read my son and it always makes ME feel better. I can accept everything right now the way it is, and yes sometimes it sucks, but life is brilliantly beautiful.

I was lucky enough to attend a Wellbriety group (wellness in sobriety for Native Americans) last night and get in a group prayer and smudge. In spite of everything, I choose to move forward with this project and GROW in heart.

Affirmation for today: I am divinely taken care of.

For those of you who haven’t read the book, I found an online audio version on youtube. Check it out and know that you’re going places baby!


with love,

Helen K

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