The Good Heart Project: The Bird in Your Heart

24 Mar

When it comes to creating new relationships, platonic or romantic, building bridges over chasms that our wounds and insecurities have created over years can seem to be nothing short of impossible. The land beyond our own, where love notes and spring strolls exists, is a beauty to behold. Behold we will, from afar, perched upon our vantage point where we can be left with our awe and desire to be of the land where lovers lay. We may sometimes become emotionally crippled by the belief that we need a cosmic undoing, or re-doing, a do-over, a make-over, before we can even begin to think about making the voyage.

Bridge over chasm

Chances are, we have the blueprints for the bridge mapped out, we day dream about crossing the chasm and leaving our lonely wastelands behind. We long for it, obsess over it, pray about it, but do we really believe the bridge to be buildable, or know that perhaps it already exists but our narrow eyes and heart could not perceive it.

I got a text today from a friend that said, “what’s wrong with me?”

I asked her what she meant, but I had a sense as I had a “what’s wrong with me” episode earlier on.

She writes back, “I couldn’t spot a good guy if he punched me in the face and I’m so picky I’ll be fucking alone forever. I’m picky because I’m scared shitless. I’m scared shitless of being hurt and I’m working on that but I don’t know if I’ll ever be good to go”

We both note that a good guy probably wouldn’t punch her in the face.

Last week I came across an excerpt of John Burrows, “The Art of Seeing Things” and I was moved by the following:

I once spent a summer day at the mountain home of a well-know literary woman and editor. She lamented the absence of birds about her house. I named half-dozen or more I had heard or seen in her trees within an hour….

“Do you mean to say you have seen or heard all these birds while sitting here on my porch?” she inquired.

I really have,” I said.

I do not see them or hear them,” she replied, “and yet I want to very much.”

No,” said I, “you only want to want to see and hear them.”

You must have the bird in your heart before you can find it in the bush.

I suggest to my friend, that maybe she wants only to want to be “be good to go” but no true heartfelt desire to actually reach that stage.

Today I went for a long walk up a mountain to a view point, and as I walked down it I listened to the audiobook I had purchased. The affirmation for today was to forgive our fears and to accept the truth, the truth being love.

I love to love others, but this real love has constantly eluded me. Perhaps I am in love with chasing after love but fail to see the bridge and I plummet into the chasm. Classic “me move”.

Today I choose to believe that love, miracles, and synchronistic events exist.

I’ve got a bird in my hear that’s realizing it always had a song.

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