Some Things I Thought I Knew

I thought I knew some things

like the surety of the rapture.

A belief suckled from the breasts

of old gospel songs

sang in Native tongues.

Inside the borrowed Sunday walls,

they preached about love.

Forgiveness.

Honesty.

Those teachings discarded at the

end of each service.

We thought we knew some things.

Maybe we did,

but we didn’t know ourselves.

*

I knew with certainty

that my grandmothers hands

were baptized by the forest

and pristine mountain waters.

Her hands, I knew, hold healing powers,

Yet she’s unable to heal herself.

Old emotional wounds manifesting

themselves in physical ailments.

She prays to a Jesus on the bedroom wall

that  she knows to be real

but lacks faith,

in his ability to respond.

*

I knew that

a heavy rain signals a rebirth

taking place somewhere

under solemn heavy burdened skies.

I remember it coming down

that spring day

I faced my demons and rescued

the woman inside I condemned to die.

*

When I was 10

I knew that I would find a knight

in shining armour and

we would ride off on his stallion.

He would rescue me from my secrets.

I knew that I’d never be a struggling single mother,

never hurt those I love the most,

never do things that  would not be acceptable

under the watchful eyes of

the Lord.

*

I thought I knew

that love overcomes it all.

Real love,

could wade through the thick of poverty,

traverse the landscape of addictions,

survive humbly through depressions

and emerge

a grateful victor.

*

I thought I knew some things.

Now I know,

that I can only wait

for the unraveling

of what is.