Tag Archives: Giving

The Good Heart Project: Jumping Hoops

6 Apr

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I bought dream catcher earrings with little beads weaved into them two months ago. They rested in their little plastic bag until I found them again. Yesterday I wore them, loving the dangle, the size, the good vibes. Definitely a good buy.

I walked to campus, after dropping off my forever breaking down jalopy at the mechanics, and I settled into some nice research. Nice, is an overstatement. I’m one of those types that need to know possibly everything about a subject before starting an essay. I need to comb through resources and then follow threads of thought until I know all about those too. Scatter brained and thorough, a deadly time consuming combination.

After researching I went to the cafeteria, my stomach reminded me I hadn’t eaten yet, and ordered some food. I sat next to a mother I’ve met through pow wow night and her little girl. This is about when my earrings started to take on a life of their own. They seemed to jump out of my ear and tumble to the floor. First one side, then the other. After the fourth time, I knew I was being told something.

During the feast, after a sweat lodge, when a piece of food is dropped you hear, “so and so (a passed on relative) is hungry,” and the food is taken out to the sacred fire and dropped in. It’s feeding the ancestors. It’s the same at different times when a cigarette is dropped, an offering for so and so.

My new earrings were telling me something, they were saying, “I need to be given away.”

I turned to the woman I was sitting with and asked her if she wanted my earrings and I explained them falling out and how they must not belong to me, so they must be hers. She laughed, nodded and took the earrings.

Never be too attached to what “belongs” to you.

I love feeling the prompts that the universe provides and following.

I also want to mention, that in the past week I have gone through some things that would usually cause me to spiral into an inward depression. I would cry, and fret over what was happening in my life… but I believe because I’ve started the Good Heart Project, I am OKAY. I have had this innate, brilliant trust that everything will be okay for me and I can TRUST it. My vehicle was un-drivable, so one day I walked the 6 kms to my practicum placement, walked the 3km to school, and kept my cool. It all felt momentary and I knew that I would do what needed to be done because A) I had too, and B) I would be taken care of. Life is good my friends.

 

With love,

 

Helen K

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Dreaming, Astro-Travel, and Hair-Cuts

23 Mar

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I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster and the ride can’t stop, won’t stop. I’m buckled and braced for the next loop, knuckles white from clenching the invisible safety bar. There is no safety when you dare to live. The highs and lows and unexpected turns and jerks leave you with an ache, a bodily formed internal warning that says.. don’t go there again.

I’m not one for riding the same ride over and over again to wreak havoc on every part of me that I value. I do know that, the past experiences can’t stop us from getting on a new ride and braving the unknown. It’s about discovery, about real, raw, vulnerable living and loving. Fuck yeah I’m still on that ride, I’m even going to buy a t-shirt afterwards. I’d rather be on that ride then standing on the sidelines, or waiting for the courage to step in line.

Recently, I got a hair cut. A bad hair cut is usually no biggie for a guy, but when you’re a broad a hair-cut is like a new pair of heels. They can add that extra spring to your walk and feel like (when needed) a step in the direction of a new journey.

I had a beautiful young hair stylist with red hair and piercings. We tiptoed on the cordial conversationalist ice until one of us broke through. I’m not sure if it was her or I that shattered the layer of small talk but we dove in hard. We talked about violence in relationships, about reverse racism, and Damien Marley hitting her with his golf cart. I could feel the heaviness in our conversation, and I’m not an energy specialist but I am going to conclude that this type of energy is NOT conducive to good hair cutting. At one point, I could see her holding back her tears as she spoke of a boyfriend who had changed so severely at the hands of the mob mentality of men of my industrial rich northern hometown. I’ve seen this happen.

By the time my hair was done, I looked like a Senator’s wife. Proper, curled and coiffed, and conservative like a good politicians side piece. I hated it.

I usually don’t say anything about anything but this time I cleared my throat and voiced my displeasure. She advised me to wear it for a few days and then return if I wanted it changed. I knew I’d be back.

I gave her a hefty tip. Most people wouldn’t even pay for the haircut if they were displeased, which is completely understandable. I’ve been doing things backwards lately since I have started the Good Heart Project. Whenever I feel that need to pull back, or to give less, I do the opposite.

The day led me to a small shop that sold new age books, crystals, stones, and deliciously funky items. I went with a friend who busied herself with the shop keeper going over stones that would help her ailing body heal. I breathed in the incense aroma, sandalwood maybe, and I sat on the wicker couch besides a young woman.

I picked up the book on the coffee table with the title “Lucid Dreaming”.

“Is this one yours?” I asked the blonde woman wearing a beanie.

“No, but I’ve heard of lucid dreaming” she said.

It’s funny, over the past few nights prior to this I have been ending conversations with “rest well and have lucid dreams” and here I was.

“Do you know about astro-travel?” she asks me.

“Nope,” I say, “what is it?”

“It’s travelling out of your body while you are sleeping. You can go anywhere in the world and do anything while your body is in a sleeping state. I heard of someone who could do it so well and lucid-dreamingwould go and visit other people and travel while doing it. But eventually he was so in love with the aspect of flying, that it was all that he did. He no longer visited people but just flew around. He spent most of his time doing this, in that plane of reality, and failed to live his real life.”

Brutal,” I say as my mind wraps my head around the concept.

I laugh.

“You know what?” I say,” I knew what this was before, I just never had a term for it. It’s a part of my bloodline. We had dreamers in our tribe and they could leave their bodies and travel between here and heaven or where Creator dwells. They would bring back songs of prayer for our people and teachings on how to live. They were also prophets that could speak of things to come. We have a dream map in our family over 120 years old that are dreams drawn on a piece of hide.”

“I think it’s a cross cultural thing, each with a tweak of perception, with different names, but applicable nonetheless,” she said.

We chit chat back and forth for a bit and I am thankful for that moment. I love real conversation in random places. She tells me about Reiki, and how she tried it for the first time the other day and how it has helped her exponentially. I ask some questions, then sign up for Reiki the next day. Why not?

The next morning, I still feel like my hair has aged me by 40 years so I make an afternoon appointment. Whenever I end up cutting my hair super short, it is preceded by one botch hair cut. I’m feeling risky.

I go into the hair salon and the stylist greets me and shows me a few pictures of possible cuts.

“That one,” I say then make some minor suggestions in changes.

“Are you sure?” she asks.

“Let’s do this!” I say giddily.

By the end of the cut, I am beaming with happiness. We talk about happy things this time, and I can make sense of the energy and it’s all good energy. We laugh and joke around as she cuts away.

The entire right side of my head is close to bald. I’ve been completely bald before, so it’s not a stretch but I do have hair on the left side of my head! I tell her that I know this is very different from what I had explained before and I am willing to give her some funds, or at least a tip. She says no, it was worth it to see you happy about it. Score. Whoop there it is.

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I walk out with my new hair and glide to my energy healing appointment.

Turns out the Reiki healer works at my educational institution in the cafeteria. Now, out of her outfit, she looks vibrant and is wearing bold colours and stones. She’s beaming with energy and I remind myself that people are never one-dimensional.

Now, I don’t know much about Reiki but it’s energy work. She as a healer, becomes the instrument to help give me Reiki energy through her hands. The energy flows through her to the spaces in me that need it the most. I could feel my skepticism (even though I believe in so much!) try to rise and I hush it with a deep breath and focus on being receptive and open to healing energy. I could feel pulsating vibes at times, extra heat, and I ended up getting a rubbery foot. I’m not sure on how effective I thought the process was but, I felt relaxed and she could tell where I needed more energy which actually corresponded with problem areas in my body. I thought that it was neat that she was spot on.

Do I recommend it? Couldn’t hurt. I’ll probably do it again.

Fast Forward:

We are researching for a handbook for my practicum workplace assignment. We are scanning through old articles and books on information on the Nla’kapamux people’s history. I find a book on rock carvings and begin to skim through it.

Errrrch. Dreams. Cross Cultural Connections.

Most rock carvings in this territory were closely linked with dreams. When a young person was going on their vision quest they would draw their dreams on the rocks. These dreaming places were usually near water, where you could hear the flow of it. Also, the young men of the tribe would paint the symbol of their dream on their face on the first night and did not let anyone see their face. Dreams man, everyone’s gotta have one.

I’ve lucid dreamed before, but that is a story in itself. One of the first times I did it, I walked over to the light switch to flick it on and off but no matter which way I flicked it, the light stayed on. That is how I knew it was a dream. For a while, I could even stop people in my dream and say to them, “Hey, is this a dream?” To which they would reply, “Yeah,” and get back on being busy in my dream life.

The night of my break up, I dreamt that I was standing out in the forest near a mountain. I looked up to see two huge birds flying towards me. At first I thought it was a hawk but as I looked and they flew closer, I knew they were spotted eagles. They flew together, wing to wing, just a few feet over my head. One of those eagles is me, the other…. I have yet to see.

Love Action today: See the beauty in myself, in nature, and in each individual I connect with today.

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